She arrived in urgent need of a life change and found therapy – if not fortune and love; Tania Cagnoni describes her time in Thailand
MORTGAGE, what mortgage? I’m sitting at the edge of Huey Tueng Tao lake surrounded by mountains, pine trees and people floating by in swan-shaped boats, talking to my life-change therapist in Chiang Mai. As therapy goes, the last week had consisted of the best sort of counselling a jaded, property-burnt, travel writer could have had.
Having dabbled in enough treatments to know my cognitive behavioural therapy from my Jungian, I was keen to put my mind in the hands of some new people. The Life Change People combine holidays in carefully chosen hotels in Thailand with one-to-one coaching by a small team of qualified therapists.
I knew I had hit the life-coaching jackpot when I received a tailormade itinerary to suit my likes (temples/architecture, markets, gastronomy and elephants) and dislikes (bungy-jumping/mountain biking).
As we drove to the Rachamankha, a stylish Relais & Chateaux Hotel, I was told that my schedule was flexible. Tired or jet lagged? A lounge by the pool. Ready for a life change? Sessions would be arranged around me.
Chrissy and Alex, the directors and coaches of the practice, explained their philosophy: “It’s important that we make our guests feel special before we’ve started working with them. We give complete attention and professional advice.”
A full week here is the equivalent of three to four months of weekly therapy in London. Lazing by the pool, I filled in Alex’s psychometric test. Why was I here?
I’m a writer, photographer and picture editor and, like many others, about to be trapped in a new mortgage that I can ill afford, or made bankrupt if I rescind the contract. Oh, and I’d quite like to be in a long-term relationship… I needed a miracle worker.
Chrissy and I discussed the week’s work ahead before visiting the Chiang Mai Sunday market for my favourite sort of therapy: retail. It is satisfyingly cheap in Thailand: silk bags and cushions: £2; glorious puppets for £8 and on stalls and temple courtyards, an array of delicious street food, from pork balls to fried quails eggs, banana spring rolls and sticky rice with mango.
We worked through my questionnaire the next day and I was rewarded by a visit to some nearby temples via Siri Wattana food market, where we devoured warm coconut dumplings. At Wat Chedi Luang, a 15th-century temple, we saw Thailand’s biggest stupa (pagoda), surrounded by nagas (mythical serpents) and elephants – and partly restored by Unesco.
A couple more temples and we had worked up an appetite for the grilled snapper with lime and chilli at the Good View Restaurant on the Ping River, with a table at the river’s edge.
I was almost ready to square up to those relationship issues – but first, those matters of debt and property. We drew up a list of options: to buy or not to buy? Then we listed the pros and cons. My homework was to write the likely scenario one to two years hence. Suddenly, losing a £55,000 deposit didn’t seem so bad, as it meant that normal life could resume – while with debt came angst and exhaustion.
Feeling liberated, I visited Doi Suthep, the most beautiful golden pagoda and temple, was blessed by a monk, enjoyed a back and shoulder massage, treated myself to a Tiffany silver bracelet (fake but gorgeous) at 800 baht (£16) and ate a delicious phad Thai at the 100-year-old Antique House restaurant.
The trip was just as much about new experiences as it was changing my old life and habits. We drove through banana plantations, paddy fields and beautiful countryside to visit the Elephant Nature Park, started by Lek, an inspirational woman who wanted to give elephants a sanctuary. Instead of watching them perform tricks we got close to them, fed them bananas and bathed and scrubbed them in the river.
Returning to the hotel late we sat under colonial fans, surrounded by palms and drew up a pie-chart to illustrate the balance – or imbalance – of my life. Work: half the chart; networking: another great chunk, and doing things I enjoy: a mere quarter of the cake.
I’ve spent so much of my energy over the past 15 years developing my career that I’ve neglected myself, and that had to change. I needed to be my own Lek. So we returned to the area of my life over which I have least control – relationships.
Chrissy and I took my list of 42 personal negatives and restructured them. On our last day, Chrissy helped me to practise being true to myself and honest with others.
I soon encountered my first test. I returned to the hotel to discover that my flight was cancelled because of political protests that had blocked the airport. I felt stressed for the first time in a week. I tried Chrissy’s exercise for fear – give it a face and nurture it. The Life Change technique passed with flying colours.
A few extra days lazing by the pool at the boutique Hotel Puripunn in Chiang Mai also proved to be a helpful tonic, but on arrival in Bangkok my e-mails confirmed my worst nightmare – I’d lost my mortgage offer.
I went to the airport and was told I didn’t have a confirmed seat on any flight and I burst into tears. Knightly Andy from the British Consulate came to my rescue and three hours later led me through Cathay’s check-in. My new, very real emotional honesty had won out.
Four weeks on, and I find myself facing financial ruin with an unexpected philosophical calm. Against all the odds, this year bodes well. I’m working on that personal pie-chart and Chang Mai beckons again.
NEED TO KNOW
The Life Change People (www.thelifechangepeople.com) offers packages in Chiang Mai from £995pp, including accommodation.
Getting there Eva Air (www.evaair.com) flies Heathrow to Bangkok, connecting with Thai Airways to Chiang Mai from £764 return.
Staying Hotels in Chiang Mai: www.rachamankha.com, www.puripunn.com
Further information www.tourismthailand.co.uk
